Identity Security

I’m writing this memo on my birthday although you’re reading it much later than that. I began saying it’s just another day many years ago, but as I woke up this morning God had something else to say about that. It’s a pretty special day in our household when we celebrate the birth of one of our family members. But far too many times I characterize it internally on my own big day as less than that. Then I was reminded of how God clearly stated it in…

In Ephesians 1 Paul gives us an amazing insight. “...even as he chose us in him before the foundation of the world, that we should be holy and blameless before him. In love he predestined us for adoption as sons through Jesus Christ, according to the purpose of his will, to the praise of his glorious grace, with which he has blessed us in the Beloved.” (ESV) That part where He chose us before the foundation of the world. That’s powerful. He knew us before…

God made us for relationships—and he made relationships for us. He created us to be connected to him and to live our lives in community with others. Despite the fractures that can occur from differences of opinion or perspective, friendship is truly one of God’s greatest gifts to us. But this journey of following Jesus means that if we are going to keep our hearts open, soft, sensitive and connected to humanity, then we must realize that we are never going to be bullet…

Jean Smith was in her mid-sixties. She came from Cwmbran in Wales. She had been blind for sixteen years. She had a white stick, and a guide dog named Tina. An infection had eaten away at the retinas and mirrors behind her eyes – they could not be replaced. She was in constant pain. Jean went on a local Alpha course. They had a day away to focus on the work of the Holy Spirit. During this time, the pain left. She went to church the following Sunday to thank God. The…

As one of my mentors put it, the interpretation you use to understand your reality and your role in it will be the single greatest force in shaping what becomes of your next decade. In the words of Dan Baker in What Happy People Know, “The stories we tell ourselves about our own lives eventually become our lives. ... The choice is ours.” Our life will be significant in proportion to the stories we choose to interpret our reality. What stories are you using…

“We are called to be completely irrelevant and to stand in this world with nothing to offer but our own vulnerable self.”[i] - Henri J.M. Nouwen It was a magnificent day on the Chesapeake Bay overlooking the C&D Canal at one of our favorite spots - Schaefer’s Canal House. We come here often, not only to write but to relax – taking in the scents and the sounds of the boats and ripples from the tiny waves lapping against the bulkhead. A no-wake.…

Mistreated, Disrespected, Abused, Locked up, Violated, Rejected, Abandoned, Attacked, and Disregarded are all actions that unfortunately describe the realities countless individuals have experienced by the mistreatment of others. Over time someone who has experienced the hurt and pain from a life-altering offense could believe that the incident is now a part of their identity. Although negative things happen to people, it is not an accurate representation of who they&rsquo…

You know that nickname you have for your spouse? I have one too. The most delightful person I know I call Sparkles. (Here comes a fun memo) On our first date, Colleen decided to buy a new sweater blouse – that’s what I’ll call it. It was pretty. In fact, it glistened from every angle. A little like she does. I thought it was nice until….. Everywhere we went sparkles were shed along the way. The sidewalk, the restaurant, the theater, and last but…

It’s a challenge we each face regularly: How can we live in peace with other people and restore peace when conflict erupts? The fact is, God desires for us to live in peace with others. He also knows that we’ll not always be at peace with others. Conflicts occur. At times, conflicts aren’t easily resolved. In fact, there are occasions when conflicts cannot be resolved. However, God wants us to do all we can to be at peace with everyone. We who are…